Nothing, Really

India Reacts to a calamity

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Nothing, Really.

Disclaimer: This is not an actual screenshot. Image has been edited.

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A Tribute to the Gentle Giant

6th Jan 2008, Clarke bowls, Ishant nicks, Hussey completes the catch and Australia rejoice. At the other end – after 5 acrimonious days, innumerable bad decisions, 111 deliveries and a few hours at the crease he waits for Ishant to come over and gives a small pat on the back as if saying – never mind…. Leadership is as much about grace and honor as it is about winning….. For many Antigua 2002 or Kotla 1999, but to me Sydney 2008 was the pinnacle for the 18 year old untiring shoulder carrying the hopes of a nation. The words I write will be lost in the millions of testimonials which will be written in the next 24 hours or so but what will not be lost are the words, “Only one team played in the sprit of the game”.

“It does not spin”, they said when he started- it never did, but when the cap came off it had spun a different tale – “619”, it said. Not with spin or pace but with a nip off the pitch and a zip on the lip, a legend was made. A broken Jaw, sliced fingers and a determined hand scripted a fairytale, ‘Dignity’ it was called. Arrogance was dispelled and discipline befriended as a student of the game taught himself the subtle art of playing the game beyond the 22 yards within the realms of his heart.

Destiny did not give him the prodigious turn that spinners stake a claim to but it did turn around at the Oval in 2007 by giving him a Test Century – the most romantic moment in the history of cricket as Harsha Bhogle put it. It bowed again in November 2007 to a man’s will and could not deny him that which it had staunchly denied his contemporaries – The test captaincy.

What does it take to raise the bar of achievement continuously for around 2 decades?

How does it feel to fall short of performance just because you have raised the bar too high?

Do the shoulders tire or the does the chest swell after having carried the burden of expectations of a million people for about half of your life?

And how does it feel when a rival captain says, “Every member of my team is delighted to have played against you?

It took the man who romanced the game to kill my reason and make me believe that legends never die, to expect, to hope and wait over the last 5 days for the bar to be raised again and again…

Kotla watched with moist eyes today as its favorite kid played for one last time in its lap, and then it smiled silently as one of the finest competitors that India has ever produced was being applauded for one last time. The applause was not for a performance, it was for a Man.

From Alan Lamb in 1990 to Mitchell Johnson in 2008 there has been a sprint in the step, a spit in the delivery and a spirit behind it.

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Lee's kiss creates controversy

Original Link at Faking News

Mohali. Adding a new controversy to the already charged up India-Australia test series, Siddhartha Negi – Founder activist of MNS (Manoos Nari Sanghatan) has filed a written complaint against Australian speedster Brett Lee for blowing a kiss at Indian pacer Ishant Sharma during the third day of the 2nd test Match at Mohali. He has alleged that Brett Lee has shown complete disregard for Indian laws and culture and such an Act of obscenity should not go unpunished. He has demanded an unconditional apology from Brett Lee and went on to add that his organization will not allow any song sung by Asha Bhosle in any language to be played anywhere in the country since she had released an Album with Brett Lee a few years back.

In a peaceful protest against the visiting Australian team, MNS activists pelted stones and broke the window panes of Mauj’s Head Office, the music company which had released Brett Lee’s Debut Music Album in India. When reminded that Brett is an Australian National and Indian Laws might not apply to him, MNS Legal Head Rachita Maheshwari said, “Brett Lee has stated that Mohali is like his homeground, hence we can issue him a Ration Card from Mohali District, allow him to vote and then book him under Indian Laws”.

Brett, when contacted by our special correspondent said that his Flying Kiss was being blown out of proportion. Brett also said that Ishant was swinging both ways and that he was just trying to guard his wicket. The Indian camp has played down the incident stressing that no love has been lost between the two sides. Leading wicket-taker and cricket analyst Yogesh Chandorkar has said that, this is just another ploy by Greg Chappell to upset the Indian team. “Chappell’s strategy has backfired. He had advised the Aussies to understand Indian Culture. They have clearly misunderstood our culture and are now blowing kisses at our players” he reflected thoughtfully.

Ishant rubbished rumors that he was worried about the incident. He said that he will continue to work on his swing and he is expecting much more lateral movement as the series progresses. Analyst Neha Pathak from a Leading Investment bank was worried about the long term returns from Ishant’s endorsement deals but rock star Neha Saraf, was quite upbeat about the incident and is reportedly planning to release the Hindi Remix Version of The popular song, “I Kissed a Boy….” with Brett Lee.

Meanwhile the Australian received support from unexpected quarters. Just before the release of his book “Cover your Stump”, Leading gay rights activist and Fantasy Cricket winner Rohit Jain has written a strongly worded letter in support of Brett Lee’s right to express himself on and off the field. He quotes the Theory of Human Evolution to support his claim. “Home-Sapiens being followed by Homo-Sexuals is a natural extension in the chain of Human Evolution” he maintained. “The Prime Minister is busy signing the Nuclear Deal to light homes across the county when thousands of gays are living in utter darkness”, he added angrily.

Ritesh Jain, who is on an Indefinite Alcohol Diet in support of Gays told us that he idolizes the Union Health Minister Ambumoni Ramdoss and that article 377 of IPC is totally unconstitutional. He added that the article curbs the basic rights of the community. He is shocked at Home Minister Shivraj Patil's attitude towards the whole issue. “Everything should start at Home” he added, leaving the interpretation open for our Faking News readers.

Critic Saurabh Naik from Young Legs Foundation blamed it on the Fab 5 in the Indian team,”There are a lot of 35+ cricketers in the Indian cricket team who, being unable to understand the New Age Style of cricket have given rise to the entire controversy” he said maintaining his earlier stand that India should dispose of its ageing stars.

Union Minister for Unacceptable Sections of the Society, Mr. Angad Kalra has said that he will set a high level committee to look into the issue. “We are also considering the possibility of Delimitation of seats for Gays to protect the secular fabric of the country” he said.

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Height of Nostalgia....

Once Upon a Time....

• Mungerilal ke hasin sapane
• Karamchand
• Vikram Betal
• Rukawat ke liye khed hai
• Gumshuda
• Talash Kendra
• Nayi Dilli
• Dariya ganj
• Stone boy
• CHITRAHAAR
• Rangoli
• Regional movies
• Shanti-Ek Aurat Ki Shangarsh ki Kahani
• Junoon
• Krur Singh
• Rahul Maine Kahan tha Na, paani chala Jayega
• Yehi hai right choice, Baby, aanhan
• Hajmola SAaar
• Tumhare daant to motiyon jaise chamak rahe hain...
• Mahaaaaabharat........main samay hoon
• Buniyaad
• Gul gulshan gulfam
• Nukkad
• Street hawk
• Hamdard ka tonicc.......cinkaaraaa
• News for the hearing impaired and then the sanskrit news- Sundays
• Jaanki jasooos...
• Udaan
• Tehkikaat
• Circus....
• Johny sokko and the giant robot
• Malgudi days
• Wagle ki duniya
• Radhika jeee
• Deepkia Jee
• Saath saal ke buddhe. ya sath saal ke jawan
• Yeh Hia Mr Mrs Bhalla, Jaanta Inko saara Muhalla, safai Ka rakhe poora Khayal, Ghar bhi hai inki yehi Missal(Public interest ad)
• Humara Bajaj..buland bharat ki buland Tasveer
• Sar main dard hai.. haan bhai Haan- Vicks Action 500
• Ek Pyaar Ka Nagma Hai, Maujo ki rawani hai..Jindagi aur kooch bhi nahi..VIGIL teri meri kahani hai( Dilip vengsarkar-for vigil soap ad)
• To Aap bhi Paan parag ke shaukeen hain
• Boost is the secret of my energy,, oo our energy
• Bikram aur Betaal
• Potli baba ki
• Jindagi Toofani hai, yahan hai duck Tales, Gadiyan, Lazers Hawai jahaj, yeh hai Duck Tales, Rahesya Suljhao, Itihaas Banao..o' oo'..duck tales
• Everest- cement ki Chaal re(Dara Singh)
• I Love U rasna
• I am a Complan girl..am A compaln BOY
• Limca when it sizzles..Limca when it Drizzles..Limca,Limca
• Yeh dosti, Hum Nahi Chodenge(Rajdoot)
• Jab ghar ki ronak badhani ho, deewaron ko jab sajana ho..nerolac nerolac..
• Rona dhona, bas kar bas..bakeman's glucose plus
• Lifebouy hai jaha tandurusti hai waha.....liiiifebouy!!!
• Badi gazab ki bhook lagi, maggi chahiye mujhe abhi...
• Yeh dhote, saaf karte, kapde bhi sukate hai...bas ek hi pal main...hum ho gaye taiyar...videocon washing machine
• Cerelac...lo inhe bhi chahiye
• Pav bhaji, biryani, chole ka masal...badshah masala
• Melody hai choclatee...melody khaoo khush ho jaao
• Citra super cooler
• Jo biwi se kare pyaar woh prestige se kaise kare inkaar
• Lalita ji maan gaye..kise?...aapki paar ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko
• Laxman silvania tubelight
• Roohafza
• Hawaii chappal
• Saaddi aur tumse kabhi nahi...(tone changes) shaaadi tummmsee kabhi nahi
• Cocanakka cokanakkkaa---nutrine coconut cookies
• Chic chic chiclets
• Machchoron ko jinse lagta hai darr woh hai casper..char khusboon main 2 in 1 mat woh hai casper
• Aur yeh match ki aakhri ball...aur yeh laga sixer...nataraj pencils
• Sab se sundar likhai...apsara pencil
• Jab main chota Baccha tha, badi shararat karta tha, meri chori pakdi jati – roshni deta bajaj

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